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Zork Green Tip 31 - Tree Hugs Instead of Bear Hugs

Earthling, for stars sake, stop the bear hugs and start the tree hugs.

Having been on your planet now for ten months, we see humans obsessed about bears and bear hugs. Do not get us wrong. We like your bear species. And there are so many cute ones such as the Panda Bear, Arctic Bear, Grizzly Bear and your all time favorite, the Teddy Bear.

We have not seen humans hug bears in the wild and it is understandably so. But why do humans make so many Teddy Bear toys and do not make any tree toys? Instead, you use trees to make toys. And to add further insult to trees, you have formed bear hug clubs where Earthlings gather and share bear hugs with each other.

Trees are wonderful. They make oxygen for you for free. They give shelter to your Earthling animal friends. Humans should form tree hug clubs all over the Earth. We tried doing it on your planet only to find out that many Earthlings use "Tree Hugger" as a condescending word.

TREE FACT 1:One large beech tree provides enough oxygen for 10 typical humans.

TREE FACT 2: Trees reduce the incidence of asthma, skin cancer and stress related Earthling illness by filtering pollution from the air you breath, reducing smog, shading out solar radiation and by providing a pretty and calming
setting for human recreation.

TREE FACT 3: Tree planting activities strengthen communities when humans work together to help their local environment.

TREE FACT 4: Trees support a great variety of wildlife in the urban ecosystem.

TREE FACT 5: 1 hectare of woods can absorb the carbon emissions of 100 average vehicles driven for one year.

TREE FACT 6: Trees and parks help to reduce the stress of human urban living.

TREE FACT 7: Trees reduce the carbon emissions that contribute to the Earth's global warming.

TREE FACT 8: Trees reduce the Earth's energy consumption by up to 10% through their moderation of the local climate.

TREE FACT 9: Trees make a beautiful, natural sound barrier against noise in human cities.

TREE FACT 10: Property on tree lined streets is valued at 18% more than on similar streets without trees, according to a survey in Chicago.

Imagine if every human was a tree hugger. We guarantee your planet would have less of inconvenient truth about global climate change.

Earthling, if you are self-conscious about others seeing you as being a tree hugger, then become a closet tree hugger.

Now, go out there and hug a tree and save your beautiful blue planet from didiot Earthlings.

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Comment by james brennan on December 27, 2008 at 8:52pm: i really like your use of the name"DIDIOT"? when i 1st looked at it , it looked like iditiod, now i can't even getit right? guess my eye is playinging tricks on me? i agree that trees are very important to our bio-spheare without trees, we would be extincnced! b ut how could we build our great homes, i would rather live in haronamy with nature & find an alternative to wood, but BIG BUSINESS would not allow this & i know some people that burn them for heat, with all the tech out there, could we not make a better "mouse trap" & give our planet a fighting chance at survival? the rate at which we are useing our natural resourses up as well as distryoing them in the process, we, as a race have set in motion a chain of events that could very well end our planet, as a viable place to live, for most of the life we know now? over 500 million spiecies have been lost since man has become to domain speiceses on this planet! forgive my spelling but with only 1 eye & a cateract in that on it tires quickly, as does my mind. after over 50 years in this life, i've seen some dasterdly things go down & we all just stand around & say "THAT"S LIFE" no1 that is not life, it is their way to placate US into thinking ,THATS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE??? NOTTT! We as a unified people should stand together & SAY NO! that is not the right way. MAKE MONEY OR SAV E THE PLANET? no question, with out our planet, there is no LIFE! or money to be made! so get it together & we may have a tomorrow?

Comment by Zork on October 22, 2008 at 8:36pm: Eeree Meeree Deborah. Thank you for such a kind compliment. Yes, we love mushrooms too and are quite familiar with their sponge-like qualities. On our planet, we have something that looks similar to your mushrooms but they are ten feet high. We do not eat them on our planet because they were critical in taking out incredible amount of pollutants during the era on our planet when we also had Didiot like beings.

Comment by Deborah J. Boyd on October 22, 2008 at 7:29pm: Zork is very wise indeed. I'll bet that Zork knows about the way that mushrooms absorb toxic waste too.